We all have an ego, and it is a necessary part of who we are. However, your ego can actually ruin your life if you don’t keep it under control
Our ego is what provides our sense of our identity. It is what gives us the feeling of separateness, the sense of ‘I am’. Of course, this is often a good thing. It would be hard to exist in this world without a sense of personal identity. However, our ego also has a clear idea of how things should be and can get really upset when things in the outside world don’t match this idea.
Another definition of ego is that it is a person’s sense of self-importance, and this is where we can experience some additional problems with our egos. It is our ego that wants us to be important, to be right and sometimes to be better than others.
When we let our ego’s run our lives, we miss out on an alternative way of viewing life. We also miss out on other types of consciousness and ways of living in this world. We can also cause ourselves a lot of unnecessary problems. Here are just a few of the ways your ego can ruin your life.
Your ego can ruin your life by making judgements
Because our egos are always so keen to defend and define us, they make a lot of judgements. The ego decides what is good and bad. It makes judgements about who is okay and who it doesn’t like. Our ego has a clear idea of how others should behave and how the world should be. Unfortunately, everyone else’s ego also has a clear idea of how things should be and people should act.The conflict between these different worldviews can make relationships very hard. When we refuse to accept others as they are, we make ourselves, and others, very unhappy. In addition, when we fight with situations rather than accepting or working through them, we can make life unnecessarily hard.
Your ego can ruin your life by making comparisons
One of the ways our ego likes to work out its place in the world is by making comparisons. The ego likes to rate everything and judge where we fit on the scale. Nothing strokes the ego quite like looking down on someone for some perceived flaw. This could be how much money they have, the work they do, or the state of their front garden. The ego will happily compare every aspect of someone else’s life to see how it matches up.
Your ego can ruin your life by making you feel inferior
Most people think that our ego is only a problem when we get big headed and arrogant. But actually, when we feel inferior this is also because of the ego. When the ego makes comparisons and decides that others are doing better than us, this can make us feel like we are not good enough. Basically, whenever you feel inferior, or superior to anyone else – this is a sign of your ego at work.
Your ego can ruin your life by making you believe everything is about you
Our ego doesn’t really care that much about how others feel. It is much more concerned with how we look to others. If we function from the ego we are less compassionate towards others. When we start to see people only for what they can do for us, or how being with them reflects on us, we develop very shallow relationships. When we cannot be ourselves with others, for fear of how they might judge us, we can end up very lonely.
Your ego can ruin your life by blaming everyone else
The ego hates to admit it is wrong. Admitting to making a mistake is a loss of power to the ego. For this reason, the ego will blame everything and anyone else rather than admit to a flaw or bad decision. It might blame a spouse, a co-worker, a complete stranger or the weather – one thing is for sure, the ego never thinks it is to blame. This can damage our relationships with others and block us from achieving success. After all, no one wants to live or work with someone who will blame others for everything and never admit responsibility.
Your ego can ruin your life by driving you too hard
Because the ego is so determined to be great and to be seen to be great, it can drive you too hard. It is so concerned with outward manifestations of success it cares little for other needs such as rest, relaxation, relationships, fun and joy. This can mean we become driven to work constantly, in every area of our lives, to become better and more impressive to others. Unfortunately, this can lead to exhaustion and burn out and ultimately a life that is not actually very satisfying. The worst thing about this is that the cycle never ends because there are always ways in which the ego thinks we could be better.
Your ego can ruin your life by having no regard for deeper truths
For the ego, seeing is believing. If something doesn’t provide quantifiable results, like money in the bank, a promotion or hosting a perfect party, then the ego isn’t interested. This leaves no room for the more intangible things that make life worth living. These things include some very important aspects of life such as satisfaction, meaning, spirituality, life purpose and happiness.
Our ego is important, however, it is only one aspect of our personality that matters. There are other types of consciousness that are equally important to us as human beings. When we forget to value important things like community, passion, well being and spirituality we can end up living a very one-dimensional, and ultimately unrewarding, life. You can find ways to tune out the ego and listen to your higher self in this post
Is Your Ego Running the Show? 5 Warning Signs and What to do About it